Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Change

This post is different from others in many ways. First, the title is only one word long. Second, it's more about me than anything else. Third, it isn't really a rant... not yet anyway. :P

The reason for the title is that I find I have changed. And not just in appearance, but in the way I am. Or rather, the way I think, the way I act (okay, maybe not so much the way I act, but still..!).

One thing that has apparently changed is that I am a very quiet person. I don't say much, save to certain people whom I know extremely well. It's very rare that I'll engage in conversation with someone, even online, where I spend a lot of my time, although I do chat quite a bit more there than IRL.


To me, it seems I'm a completely different person than I was 6+ years ago. Of course, that's a given, considering I AM 16 now and was 10 then. Still, am I so different that I could be an entirely new entity? I have changed identities online from time to time, changing my habits to suit - but to the point that I forget myself? I don't think this could be possible.

Regarding my quietness, I apparently used to talk quite a bit more, even to random strangers, when I was younger. Now, I don't talk to anyone much at all. Obviously when we're young like that we'll babble to anyone who will - or won't, even - listen. But still, you'd think I would retain /some/ social traits...

Since I rarely get out much, something that's starting to change, I haven't had much social contact with anyone other than a few select people. Being home schooled for most of my life is probably one of the reasons. As I gradually became more accustomed to being at home instead of a school, I took less interest in doing things outside of my home life. I secluded myself to my house, rarely going out anywhere. I became a hermit, so to speak.

So now, I think it's time to loosen up. I need to get out there, do things. I've already started to broaden my list of things to do. I'm a puppeteer. I've just came back from NYC. I try to talk more than I usually do.

Will this help? Only time will tell...

2 comments:

Kaboodleschmitt said...

The fourth way this post differs is that it uses the word 'entity', wheras I don't think any of your others have done so ;]

'hem!

I think I know what you mean, having been in somewhat of a similar situation myself. Or maybe even 'being', lol

When I think of the subject of personal change, I find it's always good to remember that, although things do change naturally, in reality, how you are is determined by you alone; if you don't like it, go and change it

On the other hand, be aware that not all natural change is evil, so it's really a sort of balance, methinks

Vertimyst™ said...

Hmm, yeah, but what this post was geared toward was more the fact that I'm a very... anti-social person(?) now, definitely more so than I used to be. This direction in the post was highly unintentional, so it did indeed become a rant of sorts. :P